lessons learned on a road trip to trafalgar square

i wake up some mornings, and it's different, you know the moment you open your eyes the first time for the day, well, sometimes i awake without opening my eyes, the awareness of a new day hits me before the new day itself, i lay unstirred, the sun hits my face through the blinds, i hear the morning birds, loud and alive, i smell the smell that's me, and i breathe, more than anything i breathe, slow meaningful breaths, patient breaths, and then i open my eyes. 

i see my room, that's how i live, i still say my room, i don't have a house, and my apartment is shared, but my room, well, my room is my room, and when my eyes finally say hello to the morning light, i see my room. the walls unadorned, utilitarian as it is, it's beautiful, and comforting and exclusive. 

showers on mornings like these make me feel cleaner and last a few minutes shorter, i need to get out there, be out in it, start the day, start moving in that direction, get to where i'm going. i feel lighter, my step is bouncier and less encumbered by my dreams, by the spinning madness that hypnotizes me every night. 

on mornings like these, my walk from my apartment to my car feels new, like a high school kiss, and dawn is still that pinkish blue that only dawn can be, it rises into my courtyard, hits the maple tree and spreads out against the branches, and sometimes, on mornings like these, i stop in the courtyard, i stop and stand there, i look up, the clouds are there, or maybe they aren't, it doesn't matter, i'm alive and i have another day of life and i have another shot at finding happiness or experiencing joy or accomplishing something or meeting someone or having a conversation that i didn't expect to have.